Those few

Years after too
There’s someone you would like to see
As expected, it is not me
You would see and ignore, would be obliged if it wasn’t me
And I would be happy to see you came, would smile to the defeated me

I worked to change others’ perception of you
And you do not know
I stood to condemn others’ opinion of you
And you do not know
I trusted appreciated nurtured
And you know
I scolded criticised questioned
And you know not why

You could not see I cannot complain
You were a child I could not contain
I am passionate I go overboard
And someone else had you anchored
At least you come, and that’s a solace
You will always remain undeniable part of this place.

Fading away

There’s something weirdly quirky about the change of day.. of being away ..

A forgetfulness I cannot explain
An erasure that makes me stay

It punctures the experience
Obfuscates the memory
Stirs the longing
Pushes the barriers
Makes me wait
Renews excitement
Bubbles up vocabulary
Lights the eyes

And again

Yet again..

Is it evolving or adapting or moving on
Or just persistence and dragging along..

Lost

Burnt curry
Misplaced reference
Prolonged smile
Fitful sleep
Incessant reveries
Sporadic tears
Overflowing bucket
Awkward timings
Serendipitous connections

All happened when I was lost in you
You are the reason for everything.

Life’s Landmarks

What are these landmarks to me
The lanes do not connect.
Never did I try to remember the way
The paths do not intersect.

Too narrow n congested
Too dusty n corroded
Too many n crowded

Air folds n thickens
Water gathers n stares

I guess this the reality then
Of ephemeral dreams
Of unrealised themes
Of divergent stories
Of perturbed memories.

Freed

No one cared to ask
Not even you
The rest is the rest
It is the easiest to forgive you

For you in my head
A series of contradictions
For you there blossoms
A spectrum of emotions

For love takes prominence the rest is forgotten
And there’s no way out from this world we’ve begotten
A world in your words
A glide in your rhythm
An intensely poignant pause
For an inventive innovative prism

Allusions and allegories galore
All too aware to unlearn
Too well read to be amused
Too experienced to try new
Too familiar to be startled
The world within words
Has it lost the common touch?

Is that smirk smile grimace or grin I see
No longer your muse I, too, should feel free.

Only if it were a happy world..

Habitual of beginning all her write-ups with a conditional clause, almost obsessively every time, Sia sat holding her laptop in her lap (no pun implied),wrote ‘Only if it were a happy world..’ ,almost blank, desperately looking at the ceiling, the occasional glances aimed at the much needed inspiration.

The pattern had become almost a month old now. Why could she not pen down those feelings as effortlessly and instinctively as earlier?

Writer’s block, she wondered.

But wait! Was she even a writer? All those rantings were cries and sighs of a disillusioned and fractured state of mind, conceived almost in a furious typing of words by quivering fingers. She does not even remember them.

And then it dawned on her. She does not remember her own works. Has she abandoned them?

No. The works had abandoned her rather. She cannot abandon them because they never belonged to her in the first place. They belonged to their unique individual moments.

She turned off the laptop, amazed at her absolute inability to write combined with the unique nature of this new crazy thought. Should she pen it down?

She smiled at herself.

Writing would die surely,

Only if it were a happy world.

Why?!

With?
A debris of emotions
And wreckage of thoughts
A rubble of incidents
And dregs of pasts

Which?
Refuse to fragment
Continue to rot
Accumulate to pile on

For?
Forsaken feelings
Deserted dreams
Abandoned ambitions
Disowned destinations

Why?!